The holiday season is almost always a challenge for parents. From Thanksgiving until after New Years, the family's schedules and routine are apt to be upset many times. Adults can usually absorb the changes and roll with the punches.
Children's systems are more sensitive. Late hours, unaccustomed situations, too much rich food and over-stimulation can result in bad behaviour, temper tantrums and actual physical illness. Being aware of the pitfalls and planning ahead can eliminate many unpleasant incidents.
The first hurdles to be navigated will probably appear around Thanksgiving. Family visits will result in lots of attention for the youngsters from grandparents and other relatives. This can be a wonderful time for family bonding, but try to keep excitement to a minimum, especially as bedtime approaches.
Wind down the livelier activities after dinner. Perhaps Grandma could read the bedtime story tonight, or the family could watch a seasonal DVD, or a special on TV, with the lights dimmed and the sound low. Ideally, the children will then go quietly off to bed and the relations will return home with happy memories of their well-behaved, obedient, little relatives.
Children can participate in holiday dinners, with a little judicial supervision from parents. Small servings of lean meat, potatoes and veggies are always in order, along with a child-sized helping of dessert. After all, kids are people too.
Most of the potential damage comes from snacks. Have some child-friendly offerings at hand: milk, fruit, raw vegetables or whole wheat crackers. Place adult snacks and drinks out of the reach of little hands. On top of the buffet, on the middle of the table, or on a higher shelf should be good locations.
After Thanksgiving, Christmas shopping season begins. Everyone will be bombarded with commercials about wonderful ideas for Christmas gifts. This is the time to instil in the children a sense of moderation. A greedy little "Gimme Monster" is not an asset to any family.
Remind the child that Santa has many children all over the world to look after. One special gift for each person is all he can manage. Negotiations and discussions should allow the parent to keep the choice within comfort range of family finances.
If the family is at all religious, focus attention on the real meaning of Christmas. Attend Christmas plays and concerts. Have a creche under the tree. My children never tired of rearranging the little figures of Jesus, Mary, Joseph, the angels and animals and talking about the wondrousevents of that night over 2,000 years ago.
The Christmas specials on TV are fun for children to watch and educational as well; they are part of the North American culture. What child doesn't know who Rudolf is, or Charlie Brown, or the nasty Grinch? However, if the programs are aired after the normal bedtime, and there's school the next day, that part of the child's education can be postponed until next year.
Weekends leading up to the big day can be special times for learning new skills and participating in family projects. Decorating the tree, making a gingerbread house, wrapping gifts, and sending cards are all activities in which everyone can share. Even the youngest child can pretend to sign his name, place a gift in a gift bag, or make a Christmas picture for a window.
If the normal routines for mealtimes and bedtimes can be maintained, everything should go relatively smoothly. Don't feel guilty if there's no time to prepare a gourmet supper. Soup and toast will leave warm memories after a happy, busy afternoon.
It may be helpful for the children, once they're old enough to read, for guests and even for parents to post a list of "Household Rules" on the fridge to help the holiday season run more smoothly. It could look something like this:
* Mealtimes: 8:30 AM, 12:00 PM, and 6:00 PM.
* Children's bedtime: (school nights) 8:00 PM; ( holidays) 9:00.
* Snacks: please see mom or dad.
* Pets : no snacks, no feeding from the table.
Every family will have additional items to add. And, of course, these are not carved in stone. It is holiday time, and as they say, "Rules are made to be broken". At least everyone will have the benefit of guidelines.
If you plan ahead, stick to a few basic rules, relax and enjoy your family, the holiday season will be what it was meant to be: a celebration of joy and peace, a true sharing in the gift of Love who entered our world so many years ago.
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