Tuesday 22 May 2012

Should students be taught a second language?


Every child in school should learn at least one foreign language. Besides the practical benefits of being able to converse with someone from another land and possibly a different culture, the process will develop thinking skills and improve memory.

The lessons should begin early, and during the primary years, they should be mostly oral. The children need to assimilate the sounds, the inflections, and the rhythm of words and phrases in the new language. This can be accomplished almost unconsciously by the very young child.

The teacher begins by teaching simple concepts: the days of the week, counting to ten, and the names of objects around the classroom. She will say the words and have the children repeat them. After the students become accustomed to sounds of their new tongue, they can proceed to more difficult vocabulary.

It is important to have teachers who are fluent in the new language. Children are amazing mimics. If the teachers speaks the language with an English accent, it is certain that the students will also. It is best, whenever possible, to hire a teacher who is a recent immigrant, and a native of the country where the new language is spoken.

It is also important that the parents have an opportunity to choose the second language their child will be taught. You will then have family interest and support for the educational program, a vital element in assuring the child's success.

Since Canada is officially a bilingual country, every child, except those in Quebec, has to learn French. This was a government decision and is not popular with many parents.

Strangely enough, students in Quebec are not compelled to learn English. In fact, they are only allowed to attend an English school if one of the parents has English as a first language.

When one of my tutoring students receives a report card, I like to review it with the parent, to determine the area in which to concentrate lessons for the next term. Often the child will have a low mark in French. The parent's reaction is usually: "Oh, I don't care about that; it's only French." Parental input into the choice of the second language is vital.

Often the disinterest is understandable. Our area has many children of Italian descent. They may have difficulty speaking to their grandparents and other relatives in Italian, and if they were to study that language, it would be of much more use to them. The parents would wholeheartedly support the program, and see to it that the children got the necessary practice at home. They would also be able to see to it that the child got help with Homework in the later grades when it was assigned.

When I was teaching, the children would often ask me for help with their French assignments. Since it had been years since I had taken the subject, with no opportunity to practice in the intervening time, I was unable to help. I'd ask them if they knew any French-speaking people they could consult, and answer usually was, "Only the French teacher, and I don't know where she lives".

In choosing a second language, it is very helpful if the child has some ongoing contact with persons who can speak to him in that tongue, can help him with assignments, and give him pointers about the maxims and platitudes peculiar to that language. Unless he has the opportunity to practice his new tongue through frequent use, he will soon forget it.

In today's world, with instant communication, and widespread travel, we humans come into contact with people of other lands, other cultures, and speaking foreign languages, much more frequently than in former times. Today's children will be called upon to reach out and embrace the world. Becoming fluent in a second language during their school years is a worthwhile place to start.


School uniforms: yes or no


Children, and indeed, the entire family benefit when schools demand that all students wear uniforms. I speak from experience. I wore uniforms from Grade One to Grade Twelve when I attended all-girl schools in my youth.

Our day-to-day garb was as follows: a navy-blue serge tunic with three fat pleats in front and three more in back. There was a belt of the same heavy fabric which circled the waist and fastened in front with a single navy button. Under the tunic was a lighter blue cotton blouse, with long sleeves and a round Peter-Pan collar. The tunic had to fall below the knees. On the legs we wore nylons with seams up the back. If the seams weren't straight, we heard about it. On cool days in Spring and Fall, there was a wool, navy-blue blazer which could be worn over top.

Individually, anyone wearing this outfit could only be described as incredibly frumpy, but in a group, strangely enough, we looked impressive, especially when we wore our chapeaus. Topping off the ensemble was a navy pillbox hat, which had to be fastened on with a hat pin or the slightest breeze would sweep it away like a Frisbee.

The main advantage, I imagine, for most families was the reasonable cost. I had two tunics. While I wore one, the other was at the dry-cleaners. There were three cotton blouses which my mother washed and ironed every week. You only had to replenish your wardrobe every three or four years as you outgrew them. Those tunics never wore out! The blazers could usually go through a season with only one trip to the cleaners.

There was no competition or jealousy because some girls had better or more expensive clothes than others. We were more inclined to focus on outdoing each other in obtaining good grades. It also cut down on the number of cliques that often form when girls congregate in homogeneous groups.

Wearing uniforms also promoted good behavior as we traveled from home to school and back again. We were immediately recognizable as "St. Patrick's Girls" and any untoward antics would be reported back to the school, and we were well aware of that fact. The city wasn't so large in those days; we could well be reported by name as well as by school.

In addition, we had many lectures about stopping into the coffee shops, smoking, and talking to the boys, thereby "disgracing the uniform". We were never sure which of these offenses was the most serious, but we decided that, if we intended to indulge in any of them, we surely wouldn't wear the uniform while we did!

The uniforms also promoted school spirit. When you spotted one, even at a distance, you knew the girl wearing it was a kindred spirit. Even if she was someone you weren't particularly fond of, she was "one of us", and as such, merited recognition, consideration and friendship. There were always topics for conversation: homework, teachers, tests or upcoming holidays. We seemed to have more in common than the girls and boys in public schools.

I think we formed closer friendships because of the uniforms. Even today, more than fifty years later, I still know where most of the girls in my class are and what they're doing. We are almost like an extended family.

When my four children were ready for high school, I chose to send them to one where the students wore uniforms. They weren't too happy about the idea at first, but soon came to see the advantages. Because they are close in age, we could never have afforded to outfit them to match the stylish clothing standards of some of their friends. Uniforms remove the disparity. Everyone dresses the same way; everyone starts on an equal footing.

The young people will create their own special identities through their personalities,their characters and their abilities. These are better criteria on which to be assessed than on how well their parents can afford to dress them. Uniforms make this fairer judgment possible.




Saturday 19 May 2012

Helping a child deal with issues at school



Every child is unique, one of a kind, a special gift to his parents and family, to his city and country and ultimately to the world. The school years are important. It is then that the gifts and talents with which he will enrich the world during his lifetime, are recognized and developed.

Because the child is human, there will be problems and difficulties along the way. It is vital that they be addressed in a timely and competent manner, so as not to interfere with the evolving skills and talents that these years in school were intended to encourage.

Here a few tips to help facilitate a child's journey through the educational system:

*The child should be assured that parents and the school staff are working as a close, co-operative team, doing everything possible to help him succeed.

*Few children excel in every subject. If there is one giving particular difficulty, tutoring help for several months may be worthwhile. Often retired teachers will help, on a one-to-one basis, for a very reasonable cost.

*Parents should get to know their child's friends and their families. The young people should be welcome in your home. Join the parents' organization at school. If an issue with your child's interpersonal relationships arises, you'll be able to confer with the adults involved and offer informed comments to your young person.

*Volunteer with a group in which your child is involved: a sports team, scouts, church group or wherever he or she spends significant time outside of school. Watch how he interacts with peers. Offer gentle guidance, if needed, to correct social faux pas.

*Be sure the child has a quiet, comfortable, well-lit spot to do homework. Erect a notice board to help him remember upcoming tests and assignments. Establish house rules that homework is done before TV time.

*Encourage one or two extracurricular activities each week, but don't structure every waking minute. Children need time to dream, to explore, to socialize, to just "hang out" and get to know the world on an informal basis.

*Take your child often to your place of worship. Don't neglect his spiritual growth. Moral and ethical development are necessary components of a well-rounded personality.

Raising children is a difficult job; they don't come with instruction booklets. However, if a parent is attentive and available to the child and his friends during the school years, chances are everything will turn out splendidly. When the young adult you have nurtured and raised finally steps out into society on his own, you will stand proud and tall knowing that the gifts he brings to the world were formed and perfected by your faithful efforts.



Wednesday 16 May 2012

Vacation: amusement park or nature holiday?

The weather is sunny and warm, the holidays are quickly approaching and parents are planning a family vacation that will be enjoyable, enriching, and enhance the good health of each family member.

Given a choice, the younger members of the group will opt for a trip to an amusement resort. For once their opinion should be overruled. The adults must cast the deciding votes.


There can't be a better choice than choosing a destination which will introduce children to the wonders of nature. A nature holiday is especially important for children who live in a city, but even those from rural areas will benefit from a change of scenery, and an opportunity to explore a different environment.

Farm families might visit the seashore, a lake, the mountains or a wooded area. Children who live near the ocean would profit from visiting a farm, or from a camping experience. Parents may choose a different area each year in order to familiarize the family with each of nature's varied faces.

Nature is real life. Amusement parks are glitzy, glitter and make-believe. Young people need to experience first hand the glories of our endangered planet. Their generation will be responsible for restoring it to a balanced and sustainable condition.

Environmental Studies is an important topic on the curriculum of most schools today. How can a student be motivated to work for environmental concerns if all he knows is an apartment building in the inner city? He needs firsthand experience of the natural world and all that it has to offer.

Many important skills can be taught in an interesting way during a back-to-nature vacation. Geography and navigational skills will be assimilated if there is a map available with the route highlighted in a a bold color. This strategy will also eliminate the endless queries, "Are we nearly there yet?"

Opportunities for informal Science lessons will abound. Besides becoming familiar with the flora and fauna of the area, the value of fresh air, clean water and unpolluted soil can be indelibly instilled in young minds while they are actually standing in a vast expanse of unspoiled natural beauty.

Adults should admit that our generation has played a significant role in despoiling the natural habitat of many of earth's creatures, including the human species, and discussions may follow as to how the damage might be repaired. Bright young minds can't begin too early to ponder these problems.

Children with a literary bent should be encouraged to keep a journal, recording impressions and discoveries upon which to reflect at a later time. Young artists should bring along a sketch pad and colored pencils to capture picturesque scenes to share with friends and extended family when they get home.

Everyone will need lots of engrossing reading material. Even the most stalwart vacationer will engage in only limited activities in the natural environment when it's raining.


On fine days, fresh air and exercise together promote wellness and encourage lasting family bonding. Hiking, swimming, fishing, exploring, starting collections of stones, sea shells or other items of interest will keep bodies moving and minds active. This is the type of vacation which will help children grow physically, mentally, and emotionally. No amusement resort can match these benefits.

Children, being children, will campaign strenuously for a holiday at an amusement resort. Parents, being older and wiser, should make the final decision and plan a nature-centered vacation. In the interest of keeping peace in the family, an afternoon at the amusement park could be scheduled for the trip home.

Rewards will be evident the following year: better school grades, increased stamina and better health, a wider base of general knowledge, and more interest and enthusiasm for Environmental Studies projects.

Parents will have the satisfaction of knowing the decision was best not only for their children, but that its consequences will be beneficial for their grandchildren and great-grandchildren as well. The quality of life enjoyed by future generations will depend on values and priorities we pass along in our families now.


Tuesday 15 May 2012

Top baby names for 2011


The 2011 top 10 baby names for bo ys:

  1. Jacob
  2. Mason
  3. William
  4. Jayden
  5. Noah
  6. Michael
  7. Ethan
  8. Alexander
  9. Aiden
  10. Daniel

The 2011 top 10 baby names for girls:

  1. Sophia
  2. Isabella
  3. Emma
  4. Olivia
  5. Ava
  6. Emily
  7. Abigail
  8. Madison
  9. Mia
  10. Chloe

Monday 14 May 2012

Every child needs a community


The ancient African proverb, "It takes a village to raise a child", is no less true today than it has been in times past. Parents, grandparents, siblings and other family members are helpful in the care and nurture of the child, of course. However if he is to fulfill his potential and become the physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally healthy, mature person he was meant to be, the contributions of other members of the community are absolutely essential.

While the child is still in the womb, an obstetrician or family doctor will keep track of his growth and development. Recently, some parents have chosen to use of the services of midwives. The pharmacist dispenses necessary vitamin and mineral supplements to his mother, to insure the baby receives the necessary nourishment. Often parents attend prenatal classes taught by a nurse or other health care professional. These sessions provide helpful tips for a safe and serene pregnancy and teach the parents what to expect during the delivery of their child.

In developed countries, most babies are born in hospitals. The skills of many people combine to make the baby's entrance into the world as safe and comfortable as possible. The doctor, the nurses, the anaesthetist, the cleaning staff, the dietitians and kitchen workers all have rolls to play. When mother and child leave the hospital, the baby should already have a good start on a healthy and normal infancy.

The older the child becomes, the more community members become involved in his life. He'll soon meet not only extended family members but neighbors around his home. Each one has something to contribute to his store of knowledge and experiences. The family next door may let him pat their puppy. The lady down the street makes good apple sauce! His baby-sitter knows lots of games he likes.

Then, there are the essential helpers: the firemen. policemen, and paramedics. In a crisis situation, these community members may be essential to a child's very survival. They perform duties his parents are not trained or equipped to do.

Other helpers he meets who make significant contributions to the quality of his life are his pastor, the pediatrician, the dentist, the mailman, the grocer, and the nursery school teacher. During the preschool years, he is beginning to learn social skills through interaction with other children at the playground or at the homes of his parents' friends.

Once the child reaches kindergarten age , his interactions with the community increase significantly. He spends a large part of each weekday with his school community: the teachers, the principal, the caretakers, the librarian, the school nurse and the other children. They all have something to offer to his ever-increasing store of knowledge and experience. It is normal that his focus gradually extends away from his home, and his neighborhood to encompass the wider world.

The school years pass quickly, as the child encounters more community members and learns and grows through his association with each one. Brownie or Cub leaders, music teachers, Sunday School teachers, sports instructors, leaders at summer camp, these and others have knowledge to share and new experiences to offer.

Sometimes parents feel melancholy and long for their child's early days when they seemed to be the centre of his universe, but as we have seen, the community has been involved in his life since before birth. No parents are capable or intelligent enough to raise a child by themselves. All parents need the assistance of the community, just as their parents did when they were children.

When you come to think of it, it's not really such a bad way for a child to grow up. After all, we turned out alright, didn't we?


Don't pass on prejudice



Prejudice is like measles. You usually get get it during childhood, it is very contagious and you catch it from someone in your immediate environment. The difference though, is that you don't get over it easily; the effects are often lifelong and they will inhibit your emotional growth and rob you of opportunities for learning and pleasure in later years. I write from personal experience.

I remember World War II. In my country, Canada, there were ration books with stamps for butter, sugar and gas. The family gathered around the radio each evening, listening to reports of conflicts in faraway lands. I remember seeking reassurance that "the bad men" wouldn't come to our country. The names of the nations which were our enemies became branded into my brain. In my childish way, I hated them. Every night I prayed for all the people in these wicked lands to drop dead. Of course, no one taught me to do this; at the time it seemed like the best solution to the evil war. Fortunately, the Lord loves and understands children. He doesn't take all of their petitions literally.

The sad fact remains that these feelings of animosity remained with me well into my adult years. Whenever I met someone from one of the formerly hostile nations, a combination of negative emotions would storm my consciousness: suspicion, mistrust,
aversion, and a compelling desire to run away. As years passed, I've tried to rationalize and overcome these feelings, but fears and phobias instilled in childhood are hard to erase.


Now, we are experiencing, with our allies, another war. This time we cannot assure the children that the enemy will not come to our country. They are already here. With the freedom of movement we enjoy today, many people from Muslim lands rub elbows with us and our families every day. We must not make the mistake of teaching the children to fear and mistrust their fellow citizens who are Muslim.

We should explain that the people are not bad. Some countries have bad leaders, who cause their people to think and act in ways that are wrong. Most of the people in these lands are just like us. They work and play, laugh and cry, have pets and birthdays and grandparents like we do. And, all over the world, every country has good people and bad people. We must judge everyone individually, on their character, not on their racial background.

The world is smaller now. We live in the global village. We will deprive the children of enriching experiences, of becoming familiar with a variety of cultures if we unwittingly teach them prejudice. More alarming still, we risk the possibility that the mistrust and hostility will continue long after Al Qaeda, George Bush, you and I are gone. Who among us would want our children to live under conditions like those in the Middle East today?

In our multicultural society, the next-door neighbors may be of any race or creed. If we have open minds and tolerant attitudes, our children will unconsciously absorb them. When they watch us living, working, socializing and functioning comfortably with people of every ethic background, we are teaching them the best way, by example. "Love thy neighbor" will become a way of life, not just an impractical ideal.


Saturday 12 May 2012

Where morals come from


A baby comes into the world with a mind like a blank blackboard. From the first days of life he is observing, and listening to those in his immediate environment. The parents are his first and most important teachers and role models.

If the parents' mode of interacting is one of arguing, yelling, insults, and criticism, the child learns that this is the way families behave and though it makes him uncomfortable, and sometimes even frightens him, he accepts it as normal byplay within every family unit.


Language is even more indicative of the quality of the child's home environment. If you ask any primary grade teacher which child uses inappropriate language on the playground, he'll be quick to tell you.

Why? Other parents have been besieging him with complaints about the foul words their children are learning and repeating at home from the child who hails from the less favorable environment.

What can the teacher do? Really, very little; it's not fair to blame the child. The language which others find offensive is normal within his family. The teacher can gently tell the child that there are some words we don't use at school, and give specific examples, and then make sure that the language he hears in the classroom is of excellent quality and hope that he will begin to imitate the vocabulary of his peers and teachers.

In the same way, the morals of the parents become the morals of the child. For example, most children will, at one time or another, take something that does not belong to them. Responsible parents will march the offender back to the rightful owner, see that he returns the item, and apologizes. It will be an embarrassing and painful experience for the culprit, and one that he won't soon forget. It's unlikely he will steal again.

On the other hand, if the parents just chuckle and tell him not to do that again, the lesson will be far less memorable. He will probably conclude that his worst crime was that of getting caught.

Attitudes are transmitted less directly, but just as thoroughly. When a parent is overheard plotting to cheat on his income tax, transport material across the border without paying duty, or speaking disrespectfully about the police or other authority figures, the child, like a little sponge, quickly absorbs the same perspective.

As he gets older, and friends begin to have a greater influence on his thinking, some of his morals and attitudes may undergo changes for the better. However, too many times the sad truth is that his upbringing will propel him to choose friends within the same social sphere as his family and consequently no noticeable improvement will be achieved.

The most unfortunate aspect of the situation is that the child will grow up and probably establish a family where arguing, yelling, insults and criticism are the norm, and his children have an overwhelming chance of repeating the cycle in the next generation.

Parenthood is a tremendous responsibility. A child's future moral values, attitudes, and indeed the entire course their lives will follow is molded to a great extent by those early experiences within the family.

An oft-repeated Jesuit slogan, "Give me a child until he's seven, and I'll give you the man", usually proves true. There may be deviations and exceptions during the turbulent teenage years, but when the dust settles, the original family pattern tends to be repeated in the next generation.

It's a sobering thought and one that parents should perhaps paste on the the bathroom mirror or somewhere where they see it daily. It's a principle that's too important to forget.

Is the term "retarded" discriminatory?


The use of the words "retarded" or "retard" as slang is certainly discriminatory and extremely offensive as well. You often hear it on the playground, when there is no yard duty teacher within hearing distance. Children can be very cruel when trying to retaliate for real or perceived wrongs. One of the first and most hurtful verbal arrows they fire at each other is this derogatory term.

The dictionary defines a retard as, "a mentally disabled person". Even the youngest students, after the first few months in school don't need a dictionary to recognize its meaning. They know it means dumb, stupid, not as smart as the others.

 If the child has a good self image and if he receives lots of praise and positive reinforcement from teacher, parents and other family members, he can likely throw off the insult, knowing deep down that he is doing just as well, if not better than some of the others in his class or his age group.

It is the child who is experiencing difficulty in one or more areas of development, or with school work, who is not good at sports, who has no special talent with which to gain the respect of his peers, who may be really damaged when he hears this name applied to himself. He may take it as validation of what he was beginning to suspect, that he is different, not as good or as smart as his classmates, that he is somehow a substandard being.

What is a tragic conclusion to reach when you're still in a primary grade! It is often the beginning of behavior problems as well. Since he has been hurt, he may deliberately set out to cause others problems and pain.

Ironically, in so doing, he may prove that he is more clever than anyone gave him credit for. In addition, his misdeeds will do nothing to promote his adjustment to the educational system or his acceptance within the school community.

Occasionally older children or teenagers continue to hurl slur at others in their group. Their language development has stalled at grade-school level. As they mature and their vocabulary develops, they usually drop this term for more specific and colorful gibes.

The old saying, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me," is untrue. Name-calling can have more serious and long-lasting effects than mere cuts and bruises.

Damage to the vulnerable psyche of a child, who hears himself labeled "retarded" or "a retard" may last into adulthood. Only when he amasses enough positive experiences to outweigh the negative impressions of thoughtless childhood associates, will he gain the self-confidence to become the individual he was always capable of being.

Contemporary challenges for teenage girls


Teenage girls growing up in contemporary society face many challenges. Those who circumvent the obstacles and become healthy, well-adjusted, and responsible women give testimony to their inner strength, common sense and the devotion and skill of their parents. In the early years of the twenty-first century, there are many temptations to lure young ladies into serious situations and habits which could adversely affect the rest of their lives.

The present trend in beauty dictates that teenage girls be as thin as celery stalks. Many just skip meals, others experiment with vegetarianism or take pills which may fail to meet safety standards. Bulimia and anorexia nervosa are constant threats. Just at a time when their bodies are growing into adulthood, their daily diet is liable to be deficient in necessary nutrients. While they may not feel the effects now, they surely will in later years.

How they choose to adorn these skeleton-like bodies is, in many cases, truly bizarre. There are earrings, not just one in each ear anymore, but sometimes four or more. There may be piercings in an eyebrow, a nose, a lip or even a tongue. Moving down to the torso, I hear that the nipples may tote rings, as well as the navel, and other places which decency dictates we leave to the imagination. Each new piercing carries danger of infection, which, without treatment may cause scaring and lifelong disfigurement, as well as severe pain.

Girls are encouraged to grow up faster today. Fashions are suggestive, even for preteens, if they manage to escape their parents' scrutiny. They become more so, as the girls get older and gain control over their wardrobes. Jeans are now low-rise and end below the navel. Many tops high-rise and leave about four inches of bare skin open to the breeze. It's not uncommon to see pajama bottoms on display, out and about. Plunging necklines are all the rage, even when there is little cleavage to boast about. With all the dieting, what can you expect? Skirts are short as possible without risking arrest, and often two stork-like legs emerge from the hem and head south.

The boy-girl relationships start at a much earlier age today. Many girls enter high school with a steady boyfriend. The young couples lack money for regular dates so mostly, they just "hang out". Parents often take turns driving them to the odd movie or social function. It's a matter of pride and prestige with many parents if their daughter has a boyfriend. It signifies, they think, that she's smart and beautiful. They don't consider that it may be for other reasons. Some mothers offer birth control pills to their daughters, so they can both be free from pregnancy worries.

Illegal drugs are available everywhere. Alcohol is not hard to obtain, for a bright and resourceful teen. Any young man who wishes to wants to weaken a girl's defences, can easily obtain the means of doing so.

The formal practice of religion by the family has fallen off in North America. There was a surge of devotion after the shock and devastation of 9/11, but the fervor has since declined. Sunday is devoted to shopping, sporting events, or for the youngsters, just "hanging out". The teenagers lack a definite moral compass. They may know that some things they do feel wrong, but it's very easily to desensitize a conscience by frequently ignoring its signals. That, unfortunately, is what's happened to many teens today.

It's the girls who will suffer the worst and most lasting consequences. They're the ones on the dangerous diets, with the most piercings, and favoring extreme styles in dressing, ( or undressing, if you will). They're the ones who suffer unplanned pregnancies and/or serious and painful STDs. And, it could be argued that they're the ones who suffer most from broken hearts, when relationships, for which they weren't emotionally ready, break up.

The best resources to help girls navigate the treacherous waters of the teenage years, are committed and involved parents. Keep the lines of communication open and vigorous through your daughter's childhood into her teenage years. You'll know what's going on in her life and be able to give her guidelines to live by, through which she'll be able to avoid the most serious pitfalls.

Go to church as a family. Give her a religious grounding, whereby she'll know there are definite rules for good conduct and valid and proved reasons for following those rules. She'll meet other young people and adults who will serve as appropriate role models for the type of person you want her to become some day. She'll have a basis for comparison: her church friends versus the wild and crazy antics she sees in the teenagers in general society.

At this transitional time in her life, parents can only sit back and hope that she chooses to fall into step with the right group.


Friday 11 May 2012

Who's the boss here anyhow?


"Here Dad, carry the books to the  car." My jaw dropped as this perfectly healthy eleven-year-old-boy swung his heavy backpack of homework books at his father's knees. His dad, tired after working at construction all day, bent over, lifted the burden, smiled weakly at me, and followed the boy to the car.

I was tutoring Joey in Grade Five school subjects. He had not been doing well at school, not because he lacked ability, but because he just couldn't be bothered. Until this year, Mom and Dad had been able to cope with Homework assignments, but now the material was more difficult. I had been hired to "help" Joey. I soon discovered that what they really wanted was for me to do Joey's Homework for him. Our association was not a long-lasting one. When Joey discovered I expected him to make an effort, he refused to return,

Unfortunately, this is not an isolated case. During my last years of teaching, it was common for irate parents to storm the educational bastion, demanding to know why a particular teacher was picking on their child. Good grief! How could they imagine that any busy teacher would have the time or the energy to single out any one child for discipline unless that child was habitually doing something to disturb the classroom equilibrium?

And Junior? He'd just carry on his merry old way. With his parents to fight his battles, why should he change? How sad for everyone involved. The teachers head for stress-related leave; Junior learns how to manipulate people, and not much else; the parents spend their time and energy enabling their child to shirk responsibility.

It's not unusual to hear, "I want to give my child a better life than I had when I was growing up." This sounds like a commendable attitude at first, but is it really? Yes, we had challenges, but in overcoming them, we grew. If we got in trouble at school, we got in double trouble at home. Nothing came to us easily. Our parents worked hard, and expected us to work hard too. And we did, and learned by doing so.

What do many young people today do with all their youthful enthusiasm? They play video games, talk on cell phones, surf the net, hang with friends, download music and movies, and shop for high-fashion clothes.. Yes, they have an easier life than that of their parents, but are we really doing them any favors?

In a few short years, these same young people will be expected to become responsible workers, parents, and citizens. In their hands will rest the well-being of their families, their communities, and their country. What character training are we providing to prepare them for this future?

Some of them may be called to fight the war on terror. No parents will be able to run interference for them in those battles. By enabling this generation to be complacent about accepting duties and responsibilities, we may be laying the foundation for them to fail at adult endeavors, when the consequences will be much more serious .

It's a sobering thought, but one we should carefully consider, before it's too late.
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The value of parents' moral training


Parents will not realize, perhaps until much later in life, the long-lasting effect of the moral values they teach their children. The young child's mind is like an empty chalkboard, and the first impressions written on it are almost impossible to erase. They may become smudged or later experiences may overwrite them, but they will never completely vanish.

The most potent lessons are taught, not with words, but by example. I remember my mother would never sit down to relax in the evening, until the dishes were done, the kitchen tidied up, and the places set for breakfast. I find myself following her pattern. Even on nights when I'm particularly tired, as after a full day of shopping, I still need to have the kitchen whipped into shape and ready for the next morning before I sit down and put my feet up. Of course, I have the advantage of a dishwasher, which makes the job considerably easier.

The next time you attend a church service, look around. Chances are, you'll notice a preponderance of grey and balding heads, and a scarcity of young people. The seniors came from a generation in which church membership was very important. For their parents, the worshiping community formed the basis of their social life and friendships. For the men, it provided business contacts and the opportunity for networking. Now, even in their senior years, the children of that generation carry on the tradition. Each Sunday, they can be found at church, often in the same pew they occupied as children, decades ago.

Parents are the primary influence in the formation of a child's conscience, and that conscience has a long memory. Do you feel uncomfortable telling a lie, keeping something that doesn't belong to you, or using strong language? That's probably the voice of a parent echoing down the years, filtered through your subconscious, forcing your conscience to nudge you until you get back on track. This was the track your mother and father followed, and the one they tried consistently to instill in you, until it became an ingrained aspect of your character.

If you have particularly good manners, and always say "Please", and "Thank you", you learned that at home, in childhood. Those people who always write notes thanking others for gifts or kindnesses shown, began the practice under a parent's watchful eye. If you are inclined to give generously to charities, and to help those less fortunate, you're probably following the example of the grown-ups observed in your early years. If you fail to discriminate because of race, religion, age or gender, chances are you come from an open-minded, welcoming family.

If parents only realized the great influence early moral and ethical training would have on their child's life, they would take great care to ensure that those influences were as principled and wholesome and as they could possibly manage. When we pause to realize all the areas in which our parents gifted us with good example, and consider how our lives have been enhanced by that early training, would we really want to do any less for our children?




Saturday 5 May 2012

A Story: Heather and her kitten


Every Christmas, every birthday, Heather asked for the same gift. She wanted a soft, cuddly kitten to play with and love.

Heather had no brothers or sisters but she really didn't care. She knew puppies were noisy and you had to take them outside often, even in rain or snow. You couldn't cuddle a bird or a fish. A kitten would be different. It would be her own special pet.

When Heather asked her daddy, he always said, "No, there will be no cats in this house!" Her mother explained that when Daddy was a little boy, he had been bitten by a sick cat. He needed to get shots from the doctor so he wouldn't get sick too. Ever since that time, Daddy REALLY didn't like cats.

Heather was soon going to be seven years old. A birthday party was planned with seven guests. There would be four neighbors and three school friends. Heather's best friend at school was Josh, a boy in her class.

On the day of the party, Josh came to Heather's door carrying a small plastic cage. Something inside the cage said "Mew, mew". Heather peeked in the little window. She squealed with delight! She saw a fluffy white kitten.

The party was fun but Heather never let go of the kitten, even while she ate the birthday cake. She thought it was the best present she had ever received.

After the party, when the other children had gone home, Heather's parents had a long talk. Mother and Daddy liked to see their little girl so very happy. Daddy agreed to try living with the kitten for a while. He wanted his little girl to have her wish. Heather named her kitten Tabitha.

Tabitha got a food and water dish. She got a toy mouse and a little red ball. She had a litter box in the basement. When Heather was at school, Tabitha rested or played hide-and-seek behind the furniture. When Heather was home, they played together. If it was sunny, they played in the yard. If it was rainy or cold, they played indoors. Tabitha was a lively, loving pet.

One evening, Heather was in bed asleep. Tabitha was going down to her litter box. She stopped to rest halfway down the basement stairs. Just then, Daddy started down to his basement workshop. He tripped over the kitten and tumbled down the steps. He hurt his back badly. He had to go to the hospital and stay overnight. Mother would pick him up the next morning, after Heather had gone to school.

Heather felt badly as she walked to class. She really loved her dad. She was sorry he had hurt his back. Mother said he would not be able to go back to work for a week at least. Heather knew an accident was not going to help him like Tabitha one bit better.

When she came home from school that afternoon, Daddy was in bed resting. Heather looked for Tabitha, but she could not find her pet anywhere. Just then, Mother called Heather into the family room for a special mother-daughter talk.

Mother told Heather that it was very important that Daddy feel safe and comfortable in his own home. He would never be able to feel that way with a cat around. Tabitha had gone to live on a farm. She would be happy there. She could run and play in the fields. She could chase real mice in the barn. She would have creamy milk from the cows to drink. The family on the farm had children to love Tabitha. She would grow up healthy, happy and strong.

Heather knew those children would never love Tabitha as much as she did. She cried for a long time that night. She did not eat her supper. For many days, she cried whenever she thought of Tabitha.

When Daddy was better, he took Heather to a toy store and bought her a stuffed cat, almost as tall as she was. Heather said "Thank you", but the stuffed cat just sat in the corner of her bedroom. Heather didn't even bother naming it.

Heather missed Tabitha for a long time, but days passed. Then years went by. Heather became a teenager, then a young woman. She went to school and finally became a teacher herself. She always remained friends with Josh.

One day, when they were both grown up, Josh asked Heather to marry him. She said yes. She had always remembered that Josh had given her Tabitha. She knew he loved cats as much as she did. As soon as they came home from their honeymoon, they went to the Animal Shelter and chose a kitten each. Heather named hers Tabitha Two.

As time went by, Heather and Josh had a family of four children, two boys and two girls. As soon as each child was old enough to care for it, the child was given a kitten. Heather had a very happy home of her own. In it, there were six people, six cats, six food and water dishes, six litter boxes and lots of toys, both for children and for cats.

Whenever Heather's parents came to visit, the pets, the food and water dishes, the litter boxes and the cat toys were moved down to the basement. Her dad never saw the cats but he loved his grandchildren very much. He always brought them stuffed animals and other toys and games.

Heather's mother loved her grandchildren too. But, every visit, Heather took her mother down to the basement to visit with the family pets. You see, her mother loved cats too. Every Christmas and every birthday, there would be many special gifts. Some were for Heather, some were for Josh, some were for the children, and there were lots and lots of toys for the cats and kittens too




Pro Life




I moved today, though
No one was aware of it,
Except the One
Who first ordained my life
Short weeks ago,
And I hear sounds:
A rhythmic heartbeat echoing
Through my snug growing place,
Voices, music, muffled to be sure,
But reassuring promises
Of my future world.
My elders have misnamed me:
Zygote, embryo, fetus,
But I am none of these,
No more than cat or dog
Or fox or tree!
The Creator does not confuse His works.
I am a human being.
I plead to share my mother's space
For nine brief months.
Then, if she so wishes,
Or pressing needs dictate
I'll live apart, for
Many empty hearts and homes
Would welcome me with joy!
Yet I would leave with her
A priceless gift-
Enduring pride in knowing
Deep within that, for a time,
She generously co-operated
With the Almighty One,
Serving steadfastly as vehicle
For His creative role
In launching forth
A brand new human life.
And should she live
For many years hereafter
She never will surpass
This noble deed.

Halloween Safety



Halloween is a night for young ghosts and goblins to wander through their neighborhoods in search of candy and treats. Traditionally, the evening of October 31 has been an occasion of fun and adventure for children. Although there is need for increased vigilance in these days of terrorism threats, homelessness, and increased crime rates, the children can still participate in the chills and thrills of Halloween, with parental supervision and common-sense safeguards in place.

Supervision

Send the children out after a good meal, so that they won't be tempted to eat treats before they've been inspected by an adult. A parent should always accompany younger children on their rounds. Older children can travel in groups but parents should be aware of, and approve, the itinerary before they leave, and set a time when they are to return. The children should be instructed to stay together. They should not approach any house in darkness, strange cars, vans or dogs. They must not enter any house, even if invited to do so, but remain on the doorstep or porch.

Costumes

Costumes should be flame-retardant, short enough to prevent the child tripping, and roomy enough to fit over a jacket or coat if the weather is cool. They should have reflective tape or material to warn oncoming traffic of a child's presence. Masks should have eye openings large enough to ensure a full range of vision, and nose and mouth openings big enough to breathe through comfortably. Shoes should be sturdy and fit properly. It's easy to trip in the dark when you're wearing flip-flops or high heels. Knives, swords and other props should be flexible, so that if a child trips and falls on them, no injuries will result.

Accessories

Every child should have a flashlight with new batteries. Cell phones add an extra measure of safety; help can be summoned if the need arises. A paper bag or container, light-weight and not long enough to trip over, will hold the treats. Advise the children that nothing should be consumed until the parents have a chance to examine it first.

Safety Rules

Remind the trick-or-treaters of the safety rules: look both ways before crossing a street, walk, don't run when you cross, and only cross at corners. Stay on the sidewalks and don't cut across lawns, driveways, fields or back alleys. Be sure the child knows his name and phone number in case he gets separated from the group. Reinforce the knowledge that the 9-1-1 number is available for emergencies.

Vandalism

Remind the children that damaging some one's property or hurting animals is never acceptable. A visit from police or animal protection authorities could ruin a wonderful evening.

Most parents and grandparents have happy memories of past Halloweens, when they went trick-or-treating on the dark streets of their home towns. They want to provide the children of this generation with similar experiences, and this can be done with a little extra care and caution. Despite increased risk factors, originating at home and abroad, today's young ghosts and goblins can still enjoy a happy and memorable Halloween evening.


Friday 4 May 2012

Checklist for an easy birthday party


A birthday is an important event in a child's year, second only to Christmas. It's really special if there's a party with his friends and ice cream and cake and games and presents and... Well, every parent knows the routine.

There's no need to panic. The whole affair can be carried off with a minimum of stress, cost and effort with the use of checklists. This strategy can shrink the required chores into manageable chunks that can be spread over a comfortable period of time.

When the big day arrives, you'll be confident, relaxed, in control and ready to enjoy the party with your child.
FOUR WEEKS BEFORE THE PARTY

___ Set a date, time and location for the party. Weekends are best for working parents. Most children's parties last two or three hours.

___With your child, choose a theme for the party. This makes the party planning easier. Decorations, goody bags, food ,and balloon colors can all follow the theme.

___ Make a guest list and purchase invitations. Ask a reliable adult friend or relative to help you during the party.

___Begin shopping, buy party items as you see them.

___If you plan to hold the party away from home, make reservations now. If you wish to bring in entertainment, ( a clown, pony ride, etc.) book it now.

___Plan menu and drinks.

___Plan games and activities.

THREE WEEKS AHEAD

___ Send out invitations with directions to location if needed. Request an RSVP, so you'll know how many children to expect. Place the guest list near the phone so it can be kept up to date.

___ Make a rough agenda of how you intend the party to proceed, schedule games' duration, probable time needed to eat , to open presents, and for last round of games or activities.

___Purchase balloons, part favors, game prizes, and goody bags.

___Purchase film, memory card, and video tape. Check camera batteries, get extras if necessary.

TWO WEEKS AHEAD

___ Buy games, if necessary.

___Choose cake, or buy supplies to bake your own. Get candles and matches.

___Get your gift for the birthday child, wrap it and hide it. Locking it in the car trunk is an excellent idea.

___Assemble goody bags and favors and store in a cool, high spot.

___Finish shopping for game prizes, decorations and balloons.

ONE WEEK AHEAD

___Call guests who have not responded. Finalize guest list.

___Confirm reservations if necessary.

___Confirm cake order if necessary, or bake and freeze unfrosted cake, if you're making your own.

___Start major cleaning chores.

___Buy freezable food.

___Be sure your first aid kit is fully stocked and handy.

TWO DAYS AHEAD

___Begin decorating.

___Confirm entertainment if necessary.

___Shop for food and beverages for the party.

___Clean the party site, and washroom.

___Choose music for the party and check sound equipment.

ONE DAY AHEAD

___Child proof the party area.

___Defrost frozen food.

___Bake any treats you're planning to serve.

___Prepare any food that will refrigerate overnight.

___Review party etiquette with your child.

___Go to bed early and have a good sleep!

PARTY DAY

___Pick up cake, or frost and decorate your own.

___Set up table, finish decorating, blow up balloons, get favors, prizes and goody bags ready.

___Check temperature in party room; it should be cool.

___Put pets away in a safe place.

___Decide on a spot for coats and gifts.

PARTY TIME!

___Smile, start the music, have fun!

If you followed the plan, and checked off items on the lists, you'll be confident, relaxed and in control, while your child enjoys one of the best birthday parties of his life.

Guide to car seat safety

Most parents will agree that their child is their most precious possession. They will take every precaution to ensure the little one's safety. One of the greatest risks to a young child's life and health is the possibility of being involved in a traffic accident.

According to the National Center for Statistics and Analysis, nearly 250,000 American children are injured every year in car accidents.

Here are some helpful tips which will enable parents to keep their child safe in the family car during those important first years of life:

Infants

* Like a crib, a car seat is a necessity. If possible, purchase a new one . This is not an item on which to save money. Second-hand car seats may have been damaged in an accident, or may be cracked or worn in a vital area, not readily visible to an observer.

* As you are removing the car seat from the box, check to see that all the necessary hardware has been included.


* Fill out the registration card and send it in. If there is a recall, the manufacturer will be able to notify you.

* Install the seat before the birth, so the baby will be able to ride home from the hospital safely.

* Read the car seat installation instructions and the relevant information in your vehicle owner's manual carefully before you start the installation process. Follow the directions carefully.

* Babies under one year of age, and those weighing less than twenty pounds, require a rear-facing car seat. The safest place to install it is in the middle of the back seat, away from air bags.

* After installation, holding both sides of the car seat near the middle, give it several firm tugs from side to side. It should not move more than an inch either way.


* The safety harness straps must fit snugly over the shoulders and down, without causing breathing difficulty. If you can slip one or two fingers under the straps comfortably, near the baby's collar bone, it should be just about right.

* The chest clip should be about the level of the baby's armpits.

* Add nothing to the seat that did not come with it. It is engineered to function best without any add-ons, such as pillows or neck supports. Also, be aware that adding to or adjusting the seat in any way, can release the manufacturer from liability in the event of an accident or injury to the child.

Toddlers


* When the child is a year old and weighs more than twenty pounds, he may ride in a forward-facing car seat.

* Some infantseats are convertible to forward-facing. When attempting this procedure, be sure to follow instructions carefully, attaching the tether strap to the tether anchor in the car as directed.

* The shoulder straps should be at or above the child's shoulders.

* The safest placement for the seat is still in the middle of the back seat, away from air bags.

* Be sure to secure the child snugly each time, before you buckle yourself into the driver's seat.

* Never leave a child alone in a car.

Preschoolers

* When child reaches a weight of forty pounds, he is ready for a booster seat. These devices raise the child up so that regular seat belt functions effectively.

* The seat belt must be the combination type which crosses both the lap and shoulder.

* The child's head must be supported either by the top of the booster, or the car seat.

* The shoulder strap must lie across the child's shoulder and middle of his chest. The lap belt must cross low over the hips .

* When the child turns eight years old, or weighs eighty pounds, he is ready for a regular seatbelt.

Special Needs Children

There are specially-made car seats for children with specific medical conditions. If your child has cerebral palsy, wears a cast, has a behavioral disorder, or other specialized problem, inquire what is available.

Today's children will undoubtedly have many opportunities to travel on their own in the future, but for now they are small and very vulnerable. It is up to loving parents, family and friends to do everything possible to keep them safe and secure during their early journeys. Traffic accidents can happen in a split second, but their calamitous effects can endure for a lifetime.





Thursday 3 May 2012

Out of the mouths of babes....


My five-year old students are learning to read.

Yesterday one of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said, "Look at this! It's a frickin' elephant!"
I took a deep breath, then asked "What did you call it?"

"It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture!"

And so it does.....


"A f r i c a n Elephant"

Hooked on phonics! Ain't it wonderful?